Reply to I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m 20w pregnant and our sex life has been off since I got pregnant - he just hasn’t been interested and the times he has it hasn’t lasted long or he just couldn’t get or stay erect. I brought it up multiple times over the months - he said he’s just got a lot on his mind, it’s not me, and is just a “blip” that he’ll got over. This has lead to arguments, me in tears for thinking he’s not attracted to me, yadda yadda.

Valentine’s Day I put on lingerie and he couldn’t get erect. He eventually did but after a few strokes he lost his erection again. I had enough and asked him whats going on. He repeated the same thing. I wasn’t going to accept that again and he said he’s trying to find the words. After a few minutes of silence, while spooning me, he told me he had herpes. In shock, I kept saying what and left the room. He begged me to come talk to him and he randomly said, “I didn’t cheat. I’ve had it for years”. This is when I really lost my cool.

I told him he’s put my health and our baby’s health at risk. I took off my ring and started to pack my things. I told him I was done. We went a mini get away hours away, but I told him to take me home immediately. By then it was 1 am but I didn’t care. Of course he kept begging.

I’ve been staying elsewhere since and planning on staying away for the foreseeable future. He’s been calling and texting. One text stood out to me:

“ I know you need space but I want you to know that 
I take full responsibility for not telling you when I first found out. There's no excuse for that. I'm deeply sorry. I was scared and that was cowardly.   I didn't want to lose you

I'm here when and if you're ready to talk. Please don't give up on us.”

When you first found out??? If you’ve had it for years how were you going to tell me when you first found out (we’ve been together for almost 2/known each other for 10 years)?? So, I called him and asked him when he found out and he said this past November. He said he decided to look up medical history then and saw he had tested positive for herpes a few years ago but didn’t notice until now. I texted him afterwards and told him nothing he’s saying makes sense and is still be dishonest.

I’m absolutely crushed and devastated right now. I have my anatomy scan on Wednesday, so I’ll get tested then. I’ve also told him not to come to that. [/quote]

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