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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anxiety is an inheritable trait. We all have anxiety in the family, it just manifests in different ways, some more visible than others.

I think your inability to deal with other people's anxiety is itself... anxiety :-)

Our way of dealing with my parents' anxiety is to ignore it. I trained them for years to expect a weekly phone/Facetime call on Sunday morning. The rest of the time, I usually don't pick up. If they get too intense during the weekly call, I hang up. They are not local: my mother was so controlling and smothering that I realized in my late teens that I needed to move far away from her in order to keep my sanity. So we have deliberately built our lives 3000 miles away, OP.

With age, they do not displace their anxieties on us nearly as much as they used to, because their world has become very small, and they are focusing inwards on their ailments and little daily issues - which means we don't receive the incredible nagging, and downright harassment, that we used to when they had more bandwidth to interest themselves in our lives.

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Me again. Of course I don't tell my parents much at all, but that doesn't stave off their anxiety. They will literally make stuff up to worry about on our behalf. I never told my mother about my 7 miscarriages. They don't know about huge swathes of our lives. The relationship has to be superficial, by necessity.[/quote]

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