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[quote=Anonymous]I will probably regret this.

But I need a lifeline. I'm spiraling and fear that my mental state will affect my physical health, or that one more straw will crush this camel.

I wake up every morning with a sore jaw from clenching all night, and my brain immediately picks up every little worry and spins it into the worse possible outcome. My hands tremble throughout the day. The stress nauseates me most days.

There are big changes happening at my company and I'm on the front line. I can't afford to quit and I'm lucky to have a job in my field of expertise at all. Many of my peers aren't so lucky. My mom is dying and my dad refuses to get help caring for her, even though he's not in great shape himself. My husband has been underemployed for a while (he's hustling but it's hard out there) and so 90% of the household income is mine. We have kids in college. They got full rides, but I still have to pay for housing and the rest.

I can't keep doing it, but I can't stop.

What concrete action can I take? I can't even start looking for a shrink because I just know it's going to be a wretched, complicated process that may or may not-- probably won't-- improve anything. I cannot add more friction to my life; I'm rubbed raw and bleeding already. I'm on an antidepressant, which has been helpful in the past, but it's not keeping up with the current state of things. [/quote]

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