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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a trans woman, not a trans man for transparency.

Your first question is asking about getting top surgery with the expectation of passing. Okay so people get surgery because they are dysphoric about that part, not to specifically pass. Some people may be dysphoric if they think their chest makes them not pass but binding typically resolves this unless he started with a very large chest. Many trans guys bind before surgery, some even when alone even though it's not super healthy to not take a break from it. People aren't binding when alone to pass. They're doing it because they're uncomfortable with their secondary sex characteristics. So this question is being asked as though it's all for your (your being the general cishet world's) benefit.

Your second question was addressed well by the previous person's reply but I'll add this: this is the offensive question. Why? Because straight people can't stop asking trans people to talk about our genitals. It's really not your business what's going on there and unless you're interested in dating a trans person it's completely irrelevant. I wouldn't ask a straight cisgender woman like you about your genitals or your husband's genitals nor would you ask a random stranger on the street who is cisgender about theirs yet so many people seem to think it's normal to just start asking or talking about trans people's genitals. It's weird to discuss someone's private parts like this.

When transgender people date other people, what happens is between the two of them and not everyone has the same genital preference (though it exists). There's a broad range in sexualities well beyond just straight and gay. Despite the claims of ballooning numbers of trans people, there really aren't that many of us. There's far fewer of us than people that are willing or even specifically want to date us because our numbers are so small. Many trans people also prefer to date other trans people because there's a shared understanding and no need to teach a cis person about the experience. It's an enormous effort to teach a potential partner about the trans experience and many people just don't want to do that so they only date other trans people.

Trans people come in all sexual orientations. Of the transmasc people I know, one is ace and has zero interest in dating anyone. One started out as a lesbian and transitioned to nonbinary and is married to a woman that identifies as a lesbian. One started out as a lesbian and was married to a bi woman - he's a trans man and they went from looking like a lesbian couple to a completely straight looking cishet couple. One went from lesbian to straight. One went from straight woman to gay twink and has no trouble finding gay and bi men that are attracted to men and want to date or have sex with him. A couple went from bi to bi (shocking!). I know two trans men that are married. I know trans men that date trans women. For transgender people there are plenty of options out there, especially if you're attractive and in shape. It's not that different from being hot and cis other than some people are specifically looking for trans people and some people specifically don't want to date us.[/quote]

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