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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "What is this behavior pattern?"
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[quote=Anonymous]My STBX would pull crap like this. He had an adult diagnosis of AuDHD but definitely some other stuff going on. I don’t think his parents ever dared to give him anything but praise because they were afraid of him, and it created the man he is today. He had a lot of trouble with stuff like cooking, where there are rules and instructions but you can’t just follow the steps like it’s a Lego kit and get an airplane. He did not understand or chose to not understand that you have to set a timer and then watch and adjust and maybe cook something shorter or longer. He would sit on the couch on his phone two rooms away with a stopwatch from track and not go back to the pan or oven or whatever until the watch beeped. It’s a combination of learned helplessness, weaponized incompetence, and literalism. And it means you either cook yourself or starve. Don’t forget to praise him and say thank you! If you don’t he’ll punish you later. [/quote]
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