Reply to Am I horrible for wanting a second version of life?

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[quote=Anonymous]You're not horrible for wanting it. If you're going to try to date and remarry, I think it's best to do it now before your kids become teens. Tweens and teens are at such sensitive ages that they tend not to adjust as well as little kids do.

But you can't have a re-do. You'll always be someone who had kids with a problem person. They'll always be children of divorced, and they'll always have a bio dad who is a problem person. If you find them a great stepfather, they'll be people with a great stepfather and a problem bio dad. You can have a happy marriage, and they can have a happy stepfamily, but they can never have a happy family of origin. That ship has sailed and you need to accept it.

If I were you I would only date childless men. Stepmothering is a terrible, terrible deal for women. Merging schedules and parenting styles with him and his ex is likely to be really, really hard for everyone. And stepsiblings, whether 100% or 50% or whatever custody, are a constant stressor on kids. Don't do that to yourself and your kids. [/quote]

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