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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP what is happening with public school? That is the only thing that is set up to help you. [/quote]

Your question is about caregiver burnout but your real problem is that you are allowing the system to inappropriately foist its legal responsibility for your child's education onto you.  Homeschooling is not realistic for a working parent. Ask family members to help you with money for a lawyer and/or educational advocate so that DD can get back in school.

Also, is your DH seeing his own psychiatrist and therapist?  Yes, it's mandatory if he is depressed.  I left my exDH because he wouldn't see the psychiatrist and would stay on medication.  It is unreasonable to expect a wife to function for the other parent. The kids don't have an intact family, but they do have a family where one parent is healthy.  If I had stayed, I literally would have killed myself - either by my own hand or had a heart attack from the stress.

You say he is underfunctioning, but it is OK to lower the bar somewhat.  Eat on paper plates.  Just focus on passing classes if that's where your child is.  Do what is possible.  It may not be what you imagined, but it is possible to get through and improve things in the future.

Why did you say - "DD had to be pulled from school when medical home & hospital ran out".  This is legally impossible.  Home and Hospital can't "run out". You either qualify for it or you don't.  Did your IEP team say that DD no longer qualified for home and hospital?  If so, on what grounds?  That is something you can appeal.  If DD doesn't qualify for Home & Hospital any more, what did the IEP team (or 504 team) say about her placement?  Are they saying that she should be back in school 100% of the time.  Are you saying she can't be -- why not?  If she cannot be in school any more, and she cannot be in H&H, then the public school system must provide a paid private placement.  Do *not* pull her out of school - it is the school's job to figure out how to educate her.

There are a lot of options - IEP if you think she needs special instruction, 504 plan if she doesn't need special instruction and just needs accommodations.  Accommodations can be very unique - don't let the school tell you "we don't do that".  Public school legally owes you and your child a Free and Appropriate Public Education.

I've seen multiple kids with accommodations for depression or anxiety -  like extra time, flexible deadlines, cut 1 or more periods from the day, flash pass to the nurse, excused from state testing, enroll in a period as a TA and use that period for medical appointments or when exhausted from the illness, medication given at school by nurse, etc.  School teams can be a brat about it, but the law says that you must consider the unique needs of the child.

Kids with depression can find good treatments and get through HS and college.  Mine did.

Consider taking NAMI Family to Family class and/or attending a NAMI support group. [/quote]

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