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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Post Infidelity Anger"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because I was relieved to have a real reason to end it. [b]I did not look at it as cheating on me, I looked at it as this person has issues and they act out by cheating and that is not about me and nothing I can change... just like addiction.[/b] I actually wasn't mad it was like the missing piece that explained other unexplainable things. I have my job, my kids, my friends, my hobbies and my family. These things are not meaningless or loveless. I'm beyond happy, happier than most my married friends. Those people have issues, hold them at an arm's length and take the opening as room for better people in your life. [/quote] The bolded- yes. Not once did I blame myself or get blamed. I make my own $, I’m kind, funny, beautiful and we were still having sex multiple times a week. I am a great mother, was a great wife, friend, etc. It was a “him” issue. Fully dysfunctional upbringing/childhood, drinking issues, inner self-esteem issues….needed extraordinary amounts of validation from someone he considered “beneath him”- hero complex. I don’t do “forgive the betrayal/cheaters.” I never would forgive that- it feels like condoning it. I also enjoy massive schaudenfreude watching the bad things happen to the cheaters as a result of their poor character. Time. Time. Lots of time. And no- cheating yourself would sink you to their level. It’s not in my bones or character. And NOT having cheated or stooped to that level allows one to keep that head held high. There are serious mental and/or character issues that allow someone to continually lie to someone’s face or help destroy another person’s family. Period. [/quote]
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