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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD11 has a lack of social awareness that causes problems both at home and at school.  She doesn’t intuit what the other person is feeling or thinking and ends up saying the wrong thing, pushing too hard, and so on.

Examples: 1. DD has a lot of behavior that DH & I have told her many times “don’t do this”, with reasons, but she still does them regularly.  For example, cracking potty jokes, or making inappropriate motions while naked, such as shaking her butt.  DH and I NEVER laugh.  In the moment, I’ll frown & look away, or tell her we don’t like that.  At a different time when it’s just us two, I’ll remind her “hey you shouldn’t do this because we don’t flaunt our private parts.”  But she never stops, and each time smiles and laughs at us as though we’ll enjoy it.

2. DD just texted me from school that she wants a play date with her friends *today*, let’s call them Lara and Larla.  
Me: Okay, but not at our house because of XYZ.  Lara & Larla can ask their moms to host.  
DD: Ask them
Me: I’m not asking Lara & Larla’s mom to host.  That’s me asking a favor.  But L & L can ask their moms.
DD: Can they come to our house, please?

At that point, I told her if she asked me one more time, I was going to stop responding to her messages, so she stopped.  But had I not given the ultimatum, she would have kept asking me to host, or to ask the other moms.  I hate giving ultimatums, I think it’s a sh*tty way to parent, but it’s the only thing that works with her.

I have SO MANY examples like the above.  This is in part, a family problem.  I truly find that my guidance as a parent does not get through to her.  I have tried to reinforce good behavior, negatively reinforce not good behavior in so many ways, and feel like it goes nowhere.  I have a DS6 who despite being much younger & much more hyper, pays attention “enough” that I feel like he’s doing great.  I feel like my parenting works with him 50% (to assign an arbitrary number), but with DD, it’s 5%.  We just started therapy to get a therapist’s perspective, and I am planning to get a neuropsych evaluation done in case that gives us any answers.

This is also in part, a socialization problem among her peers.  She tells us stories of what happened during the day and a lot of what she tells me involves her saying/doing things that are very cringe, and/or kids being unkind to her, which I believe is because she’s socially off.  I think she tries hard to fit in and she’s sad that kids treat her poorly.

What do you do with a kid like this?[/quote]

Just in case it makes you feel any better, my DD 11 does #2 ALL THE TIME. It also drives me insane. She would never do #1 and is very socially adept, lots of friends and gets along well with everyone. I say this only to point out that you may be combining unrelated annoying habits your daughter has that aren't actually attributable to a single thing.[/quote]

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