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[quote=Anonymous]Jumping in here on the I know it's too early side with a question:

3.25 year old DS is in part-time preschool for the first time this year after having been home with a nanny since he was 5 months old (meaning this is his first experience with group care of any kind, let alone in a "school" setting).  At our parent-teacher conference 6 weeks ago his teacher told us that he tends to be a "flitter," wandering from activity to activity without settling and focusing on any one thing for very long.  She said that at circle time they've accommodated him by giving him a weighted bean bag to hold in his lap, which has proven really useful.  Because he's also started chewing his clothing (new this year since he started school), she recommended that we get him a chewy necklace to help him "organize himself."

Tonight she wrote us to ask if we could make sure she has an extra couple of necklaces at school, because without them he has trouble focusing "for more than a few seconds."  I will say that she is somewhat notorious among parents for not having the best e-mail communications, and I tend to think this is an exaggeration based on everything I observe about him.  (He chews at home, but not constantly by any means; it seems to be something he's more compelled to do in class.)  When we responded and asked if she had concerns about his attention relative to her peers--and whether we should have him observed by the school's developmental coordinator--she agreed that it would be worth getting another opinion on how best to support him.  Though her e-mail was otherwise very reassuring, telling us how sweet, curious, smart and friendly he is, I admit it totally tweaked me.

I know my kid is high energy.  He's definitely very active and he's certainly on the fidgety side.  The chewing thing is new, and I admit we find it weird.  But there are many areas where his attention is great: he can sit and listen to 25+minute long stories read aloud, and will happily sit for 30-45 minutes with rapt attention at any kind of musical performance.  He'll play independently in his room for at least this long, putting CDs on his stereo and sometimes just sitting quietly listening to them.  He's easy-going, rarely has tantrums, is almost never aggressive or defiant, and his worst discipline issue is that he doesn't listen right away if we tell him he needs to stop doing something that might hurt himself or others.  That said, he's not a kid who plays with toys really, nor has he ever been.  He won't sit with Legos or trains or Little People and while his time away.  He's super, super verbal and has a phenomenal retention of people, words, and experiences, even from 6 or more months ago.

But we're worried, and no one likes to hear from a professional educator that their kid needs additional evaluation.  Understanding that diagnosis of any kind isn't reliable until at least 4, does anyone here have advice, reassurance or thoughts they could share?  For what it's worth, my brother-in-law (my husband's brother, adopted, so there's not a bio link) has ADHD, and my husband, who lived with the  significant behavioral issues and disruption he experienced, feels that there's no comparison.  But still, it's tough to hear about your kid, you know?

Advice, thoughts, commiseration or feedback welcomed.[/quote]

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