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[quote=Anonymous]For those who live locally to parents they are very low contact with, what does that relationship actually look like in practice? For various reasons I won’t get into, full no-contact isn’t on the table right now. There’s no immediate need for it. But I’m struggling to picture what a sustainable low-contact relationship looks like long-term.

My husband and teenagers do not want a relationship with my parents, and I respect that. They’re done with the awkwardness and emotional labor of pretending things are normal. This question is about me and my parents only.

This was the first year I didn’t see my parents for my birthday, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. It felt strange to me, but it was peaceful for my husband and kids, and I could see that becoming permanent. That said, if we’re not sharing holidays or family time, what is the relationship?

My mother is a perpetual victim and my father enables her. Phone calls often go sideways. The only reliably tolerable interaction is an occasional dinner out, since they behave better in public, but that’s not something I want my husband or kids involved in. So is that essentially it? Occasional meals out? No holidays? No time at anyone’s house?

For those who’ve made this work, how did you come to terms with it emotionally, and what does your actual contact look like? I’m in therapy and understand I have no obligation to maintain a relationship. I’m not looking for permission, just perspective on what low contact realistically looks like when you live nearby.[/quote]

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