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[quote=Anonymous]I would forgive most things if the overall tenor is one of love and care. My parents were from a different generation and some of the things they did are the stuff that some kids now consider "abuse" but was just normal parenting 50-100 years ago -- a category that could include things like occasional corporal punishment but also stuff like saying "you look like a streetwalker in that skirt" or "if you don't start working harder, you'll never amount to anything and don't expect me to support you" or expecting you to buy your own clothes from your savings or whatever.

Everyone says awful things sometimes.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Parents are human.  And guidelines change.  People used to tell parents that if they didn't spank misbehaving children, they were bad parents.  The OJ mom above probably had been told that if she didn't get her kids to drink OJ, she was a bad mom.  My own parents used to force us to eat all sorts of things that we didn't like -- because they were told it was really important for kids to eat meat and vegetables and if you didn't MAKE Them do it, you were a bad parent.  I am sure my mother did not get any joy from sitting there forcing me to eat squash.  In retrospect, knowing how tired she was from work and raising kids, and seeing how indulgent she is with her grandkids, she would never have done that sort of thing, except that everyone told her that it was totally essential to force a kid to eat her vegetables.

I think all that is forgivable.

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