Reply to 15 y.o son--smart kid; hates school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I highly recommend the book The Disengaged Teen. The gist is that finding something that excites your son that is intellectual or academic can help him feel more engaged even in classes he doesn’t enjoy.

That said, we went through this recently with our teen, who was also at a great school (St Stephen’s St Agnes) but they felt the school, while ostensibly being low pressure and prioritizing the experience of learning, was extremely focused on points and grades and pretty rigid in what the students learn. It just killed the joy of learning for him. We changed schools and our teen is much happier! So I wouldn’t rule out making a change like that as an option. I know applications for next year are due soon but I think if you reach out to schools you’ll find it’s not too late.

Good luck![/quote]

This is interesting (though maybe not practical for OP!)

I (36F) grew up in this area - went to a competitive school etc - and as an eager people-pleaser I thrived with the striver culture and grades obsession culture; then I crashed and burned and had to regroup later in adulthood once those goalposts fell away.

It is wonderful that your son already has strong friendships since, honestly, relationships with other human beings are “the point of it all,” at the end of the day. Is he able to spend decent quantities of unstructured time with these friends doing enjoyable things, maybe outside? Do they live close enough that he can choose when he sees them? I ask because in hindsight, attending a specialized school meant that all of my school friends lived really far away, so it was genuinely difficult to maintain a fulfilling social life outside of highly structured school stuff.

Does he have an introvert hobby at home that recharges him that he can talk about and/or share with others?  Activities that are tactile, non-quantitative, and/or social are great. It’s also great that he feels comfortable sharing his feelings with you.[/quote]

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