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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How's your DC treated at his/her independent school? Do you think fairly? Is it easier for boys than girls? Which schools do a good job educating children of color? I've heard varying stories some great and some horrible? Do elite blacks fair better than FA blacks? I know this is like talking about the elephant in the room but I really would like to hear your well thought out views. Please if you can't respond responsibly don't add your input! Just want to hear other parents perspectives of all races.[/quote]

I am white, but DC attends one private, went to camp at another and I work at a third and here are my impressions:

[b]If a black child is well behaved and does well academically, they will be accepted and gain praise( girl or boy) . I have seen this play out over and over again.

Poor academic performance or bad behavior will be met with compassion at first, and then less and less patience. This is  true for white children as well. The difference is  : if you get negative feedback at any point, will you "trip on it" and suspect it is because your child is black, when actually it would just be the behavior?[/b] The question is : how healthy are your relationships with white people because, if the chips are ever down and you need to trust administrators or teachers, they won't ALWAYS be white, but most of the time they will.

If THAT is a problem for you at your gut level, then look for a school that has more AA Admin ( GDS comes to mind) and where most of the AA families tend to be wealthy, and not the ones on FA so that the road has already been paved for you.

Good luck.

[b]I agree with the PP who said a well-behaved child who is performing academically well will be fine. I would up that and add: extremely well-behaved and an academic super star, particularly if it's a boy on substantial FA.[/b]

[/quote]OP, you asked and you received.  These statements are indicative of the culture in private and public schools where there is what I call the 'walking on egg shells' environment for smart black kids so whites will accept them.  Note the statements 'if the black child is well-behaved' and 'the extremely well-behaved child who is performing academically will be fine'.  Why are all black kids held to a different standard when white kids should WHOLLY be held to the same standard?

And please don't give me crap that I have misunderstood these statements especially the one about being extremely well behaved, etc'.  I have not!  Maybe if white kids were held to the SAME exceptional standards, there would be no setting schools on fire, boys creating internet sex pages, all-girl schools and all-boy school dances grinding, SAT cheating scandals, drug sales at schools, mean girls/boys who bully, etc.  These were all acts done by white kids at private schools and reported in newspapers, radio, etc, and my list is far from complete.  Not that black kids don't misbehave but quit acting as white kids are the exception to all misbehaving rules.

Yes, you can say I'm angry.  I'm angry because of the double-standard and egg shell walking and defining by posters how black kids should be when most of their kids are NOT extremely well-behaved and academic superior.  Before you define how blacks should behave, look to your own house first.   [/quote]

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