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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It could also be that you have changed, OP.

I have found that I have gotten gentler and more open-minded as I age, and this has made me more aware of very negative or judgmental attitudes from others. I have friends I've known for decades and who are the same as they've always been, but I find I can't spend as much time with them as I used to because I am more bothered by their snarky or judgmental tone.[/quote]

You claim you've gotten "gentler and more open-minded" but you're "bothered by their snarky or judgmental tone"? These positions are incompatible. Gentle, open-minded people don't need to judge other people's "tone". They can accept that others communicate how they do and it's not about the listener. Needing to control other people's tone isn't gentle or open-minded, it's judgmental, controlling, and a waste of time. [/quote]

PP here and no, it is not incompatible. I used to enjoy spending time with friends judging other people or complaining and criticizing. Now I find I don't want to do that, and when these same friends express these opinions, I find unable to match their strong negative opinions, and instead feeling natural or even empathetic towards the people or things they are judging. I am still friends with them, but we are just in different places mentally and that can make it hard to spend time together. I don't judge them and I recognize that what has shifted is something in me, not them.

I was actually trying to urge OP to look inward rather than blaming this dynamic on her friends, who may just be acting consistently as they always have. When we stop enjoying other people's company, it's easy to assume it's their fault, but in this case it might be OP shifting her outlook and thus not b being able to relate to her friends in the same way.[/quote]

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