Reply to How do you manage family visits involving kids (pre-teen and teen) and grouchy, sometimes abusive elderly grandparents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much misogyny have you internalized that you’re blaming your mother for your father’s conduct? Where is your responsibility as your child’s parent? You, the parent, your father’s child, are the person responsible for saying “dad, that’s not how we talk to our family members”. You let your son down, your spouse down, and you’re blaming your mother. [/quote]

I more or less told him that, and as usual, it goes in one ear and out the other and he insists he is correct. This is who he's been all his life. And my mother defends him or tries to explain away his behavior. As far as I'm concerned, the only way to deal with the situation is to not visit. Remove the source of negativity and not invite the treatment upon ourselves. I bring my mother into this because she's the one who insists on the visits and wants the kids at their house. Do we visit more than we need to at this point? There's not much of a grandparent-grandchild relationship if every time my kids see them my father can't stop himself from being a jerk (and my husband doesn't like him much either, never did). [/quote]

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