Reply to How do you manage family visits involving kids (pre-teen and teen) and grouchy, sometimes abusive elderly grandparents

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[quote=Anonymous]We visited my parents last weekend and noticed that my parents, in particular my elderly father who is in his late 70s, are getting pretty difficult to be around, and probably not great for my kids due to the things I heard them saying to them. My father was starting to nitpick at them about what they were wearing, how they were speaking, what kind of activities they like ("don't you like baseball like a real boy," that sort of stuff). I know his father was emotionally abusive, so I think he may just be repeating the stuff he was subjected to as a kid. We have to spend a lot of money on travel just to visit them, and DH and I really see no point in putting up that kind of money only to expose our kids to that stuff just to see the grandparents. There's no hope in telling my mother to help my dad check his behavior. In some ways, I think she's afraid of getting into a spat with him and disrupting her peace. She's more or less become the dutiful elderly wife who just focuses on keeping him alive (he has a lot of health issues at this point but won't accept outside help).

We visited for only three days last week, and she got on me about the visit being too short. But why on earth would we stay longer if their behavior stinks? [/quote]

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