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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, he wants his wife.  I’m a widow, I get it.  Check yourself.[/quote]

+1.  He spent decades with his wife, and now he has dementia and misses her.  Sounds pretty normal to me.  Weird flex on your part, op.  [/quote]

My FIL with dementia is like this too. He doesn’t remember how horrible he was to her. [/quote]

They don't realize they were horrible. That's why they don't remember. Also if they realize that they were horrible, it would cause a lot of grief, so their brains sort of protect them from that realization, especially as they get older.

My sister forced my mom to confront some of her awful parenting in her 70s and honestly I wish she hadn't. My mom couldn't handle it and it just made it that much harder. At some point you have to accept a person did what they did and let it go because they are too old to be held accountable. Your FIL cannot make up for the way he treated his wife now. I'm okay with people deciding not to care for elderly people who were abusive to them or their loved ones, but I don't see the point in trying to punish them at this age. Either care for them and let it go, or let someone else care for them and move on with your life. You are not going to extract a satisfying penance from an elderly person with dementia. You just aren't.[/quote]

Uh, no one is punishing him for anything. It's just surprising to hear what he said.
He also claims she died at the end of the staircase in their old home. 
No, she died in a bedroom just a few feet away from his.
He also talks about how when his father died, he was a young boy.
I had to remind him that he already was married and had two kids who were beyond toddler age when his father died.[/quote]

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