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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My boyfriend wants to get married. I want to get married in general. My parents went through a bad divorce, so I’m weary. I want to avoid something like that. I want to go into marriage with eyes wide open. From those of you who are more experienced can you tell me if you think my boyfriend is marriage material? We don’t want kids.

Pros: very sweet, loyal, showers me with attention, hard working, smart, good politics, nice friend group

Cons: [b]diagnosed adhd, messy, stubborn/inflexible, dysfunctional family[/b] (but not local)

He’s in low earning profession but I don’t mind that.[/quote]

Do you want kids?  Because I wouldn't sign up for this collection of attributes in a coparenting partner.  If he was a zillionaire I could see outsourcing enough to not end up resentful but for a low-earning guy every one of these is going to make your job as a parent 10x harder, and you're not going to care that he's got nice friends when you're the only one keeping everything running at home and you have to work fulltime.  Now add in that one or two of your kids are ADHD and see what that does to your stress levels.

If you're not planning on kids, the sweetness and showering with attention are more important because the balance between the two of you is what matters long term.[/quote]

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