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[quote=Anonymous]Preface with I don't think I have any real reason to fear my FIL my sister in law vouches for him and I've never seen any behavior. I on the other hand was abused by multiple people including a family member for most of my childhood/teens. I know I'm the one carrying all th baggage here and it's a trauma response.

I also never had grandparents so I don't know what this is supposed to look like.

I am increasingly uncomfortable with how touchy fil is with my 15 month old. He also is constantly holding her on his lap or placing her on his lap and swinging backwards with her. Or letting herher slide down his legs when playing. I'm hyper aware and I feel like I'm constantly monitoring for inappropriate touch or a physical response from him- like is her getting an erection from this interaction. That feels awful for me also I can't enjoy anything.

This is the 5th time they have seen her. First eat their house. And first time we aren't nursing/pumping and she is more comfortable with others. I still haven't left her with them alone and get uncomfortable if she follows him in his room but make up and excuse to grab her. They don't put her to sleep or bathe or do diapers. He's just always touching her. Rubbing her neck or trying to get her to go to him when shes happy with me or grandma.

I don't know what I'm asking. I think if anyone has a similar past and similar feelings came up how did you handle the anxiety?

This happened once before with a friend who was playing doctor with my daughter and his two kids. The other toddler initiated and I felt uncomfortable for a few minutes but just sat and watched and it subsided.  I'd also leave her with these friends. She seems them regularly and loves spending time with this friend and his wife. We vacation together and I don't have any flags from him.

This feeling with my fil isn't going away and it's growing if anything. Which makes me so uncomfortable. [/quote]

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