Reply to If visiting in-laws, is it unreasonable to spouse to insist on a hotel?

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Reply to "If visiting in-laws, is it unreasonable to spouse to insist on a hotel?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My DH is still huffing that this year I booked our family a nearby inn instead of sleeping in his parents' house, crammed with 16 people (we would be sleeping together on an air mattress in his old teen bedroom).
There is a lovely hotel -- two minutes away.
His family is a lot: a lot of big personalities, rowdy dogs, a cat I am allergic to, etc. Knowing that I'll have a hotel to go back to for a quiet night's sleep and a more leisurely morning helps me approach this 20-person weekend with way less trepidation and stress.
DH initially went along with the plan, but is now pouting that he won't "maximize" his time with his family and that they will think it's "weird" we aren't staying over in his parents' house with everyone else (his brother, his sister, their spouses and kids(. He is a classic middle child who appeases everyone -- and finds it easiest to disappoint me for the sake of his family.
I repeatedly said we can stay as late as we want the first night, stay as late as he wants the next day, literally I just need a good quiet night's sleep and a bit of compartmentalization. His mom doesn't even care!! But DH is afraid his brother and sister will judge. He is MORE afraid of their judgment than anything. I'm 43 and way too old to care about the judgment of other adults.
I have done ALL the xmas shopping and food-buying for his family party, wrapping, etc. And he is pouting about eight hours on a decent mattress.
Just needed to vent.[/quote]

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