Reply to How do some women land amazing, caring, reliable, attractive guys?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I married an amazing man after years of relentless self improvement and emotional work. By the time I met DH, I’d been in therapy for a total of 6 years with three different therapists. Yes, it was expensive on a pink collar salary, but I became a better, more mature adult. I worked out for 6 hours a week. I took care of my appearance. I volunteered weekly.

I was also careful to make good financial decisions. I saved money for retirement, emergencies, and started working towards a down payment on a house. Used clothing was cheaper then, as was rent, which I’m sure helped. But I always lived in cheap places with multiple roommates and rarely took vacations. Instead, I’d go into DC on day trips.

Another thing I did right was to go where the men were serious. Back then, it was eHarmony. I got hit on by men in their 50s, felons, etc., on other sites. It’s been awhile, so the best platform could have changed. Make sure you join somewhere that does a background check. I had to online date for about seven years to find my husband. I took notes on each guy, saved their names in my phone with identifying details, and basically treated it like a second job. I went on a slew of bad dates. One guy got drunk and threw up on a stranger. Another guy kept touching me and wouldn’t back off. Another guy was so socially inept that he sang to himself rather than converse with me. Either being married is worth going through hell, or it’s not. For me, I’m thankful every day that I put in the work.

I’m also aware that I was lucky.  I have looks that met many men’s minimum threshold. I didn’t make a ton of money, but I lived in a time when I could budget for extras that maximized my attractiveness. I grew up in a family where emotional health was discussed.

OP, there are great guys out there, but you’re not guaranteed to meet one who is still single. I noticed a big drop-off in my matches once my age started with a 3. No idea how old you are, but you can put the work in. [/quote]

NP. This is great advice. I'm glad that you have found happiness. [/quote]

Thank you.

OP can do it too! I believe in you, OP! The best time to improve your marriage is before you meet the guy. ❤️[/quote]

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