Reply to How to deal with teenage a-holery?

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[quote=Anonymous]Our oldest just turned 14 and it has been such a doozy.  This is the child with which it seems every other standard parenting trick has zero effect.  We have multiple, so the contrast is very noticeable.  She has never been influenced by any external pressures (whether it's peer pressure or parental pressure) and is resistant to any guidance, advice, help, etc.  Consequences never worked.

This was difficult in and of itself, but now at 14, the straight up meanness has gotten out of control.  Very beyond the pale stuff.  Calling us stupid, idiots, wishing us dead, telling us she hates us and wouldn't care about us at all at our funerals, and hoping we both burn in hell. And then the next second, she is completely normal, asking where me where the cookies are that I baked earlier.

She is pretty much also refusing to do basic chores or help out around the house, and basically saying that we can't make her do anything.  We can't get into a power struggle, because it is such a trigger for her.  Any slight inclination of control causes her to act out in extreme ways.  It's causing negative ripple effects on our whole family, as her siblings witness her diabolical behavior.

How would you deal with this issue?[/quote]

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