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College and University Discussion
Reply to "Deferral -- managing expectations"
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[quote=Anonymous]Those sound like good odds. 1 of 4 = 25% = better than typical for sure. Given that your DD’s stats are better than theirs, she probably has even better odds. Maybe even 33% or 50%. But even that still means 50 -75% chance of not getting in. And to be clear, this is no guarantee they will take someone from your high school. Past performance does not guarantee future results …. This is how DH and I are maintaining perspective. Our DC seems to be in a similar spot as yours, according to the data from our high school and it’s history with her ED school. But though better than average, those odds are still not good. Certainly not enough to count on. And of course there is ENDLESS uncertainty and unpredictability in this process. Your (or our) DD’s ED school may already have admitted enough or too many “students like her” in the ED round (whatever that means - pick among the many demographics or ways to describe her) or may have fewer spots for “students like her” this year because they’ve chosen to prioritize something else (again, whatever “students like her” means to the school.) Or their priorities could have shifted a bit. The school could be seeking fewer kids in her major this year and more in a different major … or they may need to cut some girls at the last minute in order to balance the class the way they want … or they could decide they want more private or public school kids from your area than usual this year and it could cut against her instead of for her this time … or they could decide to accept more international students in order to hit that target, knowing there’s a risk that more than usual could decline or drop out due to the yet-to-be-determined Trump chaos of the day … and on and on. THIS is how DH and I are managing expectations. There is only so much in our control. After that, it is a lottery … as we’ve always recognized (but need to remind ourselves of regularly.) As for DD, we’re not trying to manage her expectations - or her as a person - at all at this point. She’s a smart, mature kid who knows the statistics and understands what they mean. (Better odds than average/ typical still aren’t actually good in this case.) She also knows that so very much of this is beyond her/our control. A bunch of AOs in a room or on a Zoom will decide on her application for a second time in Feb/March based on criteria we will never know. This is life. And DD will think and feel how she thinks and feels. No doubt her emotions, outlook, and attention to this issue will fluctuate all over the place in the next three months. That’s normal, and she’ll learn that she can cope with high stakes (to her) uncertainty and in the end make the very best of whatever the outcome turns out to be. In the meantime, we’re loving and empathetic listeners. It’s not our job to tell her (an almost 18 year old) how to think or feel. We absolutely empathize (we’re riding this roller coaster, too) but we are keeping our thoughts to ourselves and allowing her to engage this as she chooses. We’re 100% certain she’ll be ok, no matter the outcome. GL. I know it’s hard. It really is!! 💗[/quote]
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