Reply to When Coming Out is the Last Straw

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure what rock you're living under, but most of the stories I hear about coming out are not successful at all. I haven't heard of one friend where their parents completely embraced it; only tolerated it at most. But these are middle-aged or older people.

I'm glad for the younger generation where the tides are changing and there are more successful stories. I think if you want to frame the stories in a way that says this unfortunately happened in the 90s, but I'm glad things are different for your generation, then that would be ok to share. Otherwise, I'm not sure how sharing stories from 30 years ago would apply to these teens. [b]Maybe just scare them.[/b][/quote]

I am the parent of a gay child, and her coming out was not an issue in our family, and I would say that is the same for most of her gay peers that I know of.  I feel like it is trans kids who really still experience a lot of alienation from families, but not as much gay kids from major urban areas unless their parents are really religious, very politically conservative or come from a very non-accepting ethnic or immigrant culture.

OP, I respect how painful this must have been for you and your brother.  But, respectfully, I also ask you to think about why you feel the need to share -- are you unwittingly unburdening yourself in some way and are kids in your library really the right tool for that (individual therapy would be better)?  are you telling them the worst case scenario because you think that ....what?..... that they will be scared enough not to come out?  If so, do you really think it would have been better for your brother to live the rest of his life in a closet? Don't you think the heartbreaking scenario is exactly what all kids worry about even today? How, specifically, does sharing your story better prepare kids for what you think is the (not unlikely) worst case scenario?  What is it you think they should be doing or not doing that would be better?  The answer to that question can't be - don't come out or wait until you are independent or financially well off to come off.  That is the kind of closet that kills people. [/quote]

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