Reply to Gut check - am I being reasonable or overly anxious?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think these are totally reasonable limits for a newborn (less than 2 months old). If he gets even a mild fever, he's headed to the hospital for a spinal tap. Anyone who gives you any beef can be reminded of that fact. If he was like 6 months old I'd say you were being a bit uptight, but this is a really, really tiny baby.

Ignore your family. This is for sure none of their business.

However - your husband goes in a whole different category from your family. You need to hear him out and potentially be willing to compromise IF he the truly disagrees with your approach. NOT because he's concerned about being rude. If it's just that, you can work with him on the best ways to approach, and be open to the fact that there might be better ways to approach some things with his family rather than yours. Family cultures are different, even in subtle ways - he may be more comfortable turning someone away at the front door with a runny nose than telling EVERYONE in advance absolutely no sickness near baby, for example, and that's fine. You should be really flexible on how boundaries are presented/held with his family, as long as the boundaries you agree on are held.

If you're really at odds as to what makes reasonable boundaries, you can agree to use the pediatrician as a tie breaker and call him.

If you are hoping to be egalitarian parents, I would caution you against treating your opinions about the baby as more valid than his opinions about the baby simply because you're the mom. That starts you off on bad footing - if you're the decider, then you do all the research, and the buck stops with you. You're the manager of the family, and he's a helper/assistant/underling, and that is the beginning of a mental load that is incredibly crushing as the kids age (see: about a million threads on this topic in the relationship forum). The flip side of expecting your husband to handle his half of parenting, logistics, and the mental load is treating his opinions and approaches to childrearing as equal to your own, and that starts now. [/quote]

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