Reply to ASD/ADHD 18yo Stepdaughter

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[quote=Anonymous]My 18 year old stepdaughter has Level 1 ASD and ADHD, and we’ve been struggling. She’s chose to live with us full time since turning 18 in September. Before, she split her time between ours (DH and I have been married for 11 years) and her mom’s. She’s mainly struggling in school. She’s failing multiple classes and is at risk of not graduating this year. She has an IEP, and her school caseworkers and teachers are very supportive and helpful, but when she attends school, she refuses help and doesn’t complete work. When she gets frustrated with attempts to help her, she’ll leave class without permission and sit outside in the hallway on her phone, which has led to consequences multiple times.

She frequently refuses to go to school, her sleep schedule is all over the place—staying up until 2 or 3.am— and she takes her medication inconsistently. After school (if she attends), she comes home, naps, and spends the entire evening on her phone. Even when we take the phone and turn off the internet, she doesn’t fight it and does other things like read, draw, but no school work. She has no friends or extracurricular activities, and is very isolated.

At home, she doesn’t help with anything, including her own room and space. I make her meals, help her clean her room, do her laundry, and try to help her with homework, but she’s consistently rude to me and refuses to engage. She struggles with her assignments so I try to help her and we also have tutors, but she’ll often refuse help and have outbursts. She needs daily prompting on showering, brushing teeth & hair. She’s also been in therapy, but since 18, she refuses to go and when she did attend she’d refuse to talk, and there’s nothing we can do to make her go.

I’m very worried about her and her future. We really want her to graduate, do something outside of school, have friends, and increased motivation. DH and I are both lost. How can we help her? We’re in VA.[/quote]

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