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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm interested in this topic. Is it really a paradox? I get that either path forward will include some pain. Is that what you mean by paradox?

I do think emotionally unavailable parents could end up apologizing. People are able to grow and change.

I think some of the reason I don't bring up some childhood pain issues associated with unmet emotional needs is that I don't want my parents to feel bad. I've long been in a role of trying to protect their feelings.

Is the paradox that either I leave that alone and sit in pain by myself or that I bring it up and still have pain?

Potentially with the latter path healing can open up? I don't know. I just recently started therapy so thinking about this is still new to me.[/quote]

I am OP, having done it, I would probably suggest you NOT to tell them about how you feel unless you are certain they are such open-minded people that will be willing to see things from your perspective.  Otherwise, they might become extremely defensive and start attack you and make you feel even more unloved and useless.  Trust me, that pain is beyond words, it had caused suicide in my family.

The reason I did it is that 1. I thought they were nice people, and are intelligent enough to see things from a different lens.  2. I wanted to feel close to them.  The result unfortunately is I feel like wow I didn't know them at all, they are actually so evil and soul-less.  It blew my mind.  I would have never ever expected them to behave the way they are.  So yeah, maybe just sweep it under the rug and carry one?  That's what my parents would have done LOL.  [/quote]

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