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[quote=Anonymous]My teenage son who is a sophomore in high school is pretty severely ADHD. He was diagnosed in eighth grade when he was 12 and failing out of school despite being bright. When the school tested him, they said his ADHD was so severe they could barely get him to focus enough to complete the evaluations After those test results. We started him on medication and saw a turnaround pretty quickly, including through ninth grade.

He is a late bloomer and now as a sophomore is just starting to hit puberty. We are seeing some pretty significant changes in his attitude and a lot of regression. I am wondering if this is normal. For example, his grades are starting to slip again, he is always sullen and moody and is showing a lot of disrespect and impatience towards parents and siblings:  Cursing at us and telling us to shut up is a routine occurrence even when we ask him something as simple as did you finish your homework? He is harassing his siblings endlessly, trying to antagonize them and get them upset. We used to have good communication, but now he doesn’t want to talk or interact when I try to ask him about what’s going on.

Most concerning is that he has quit basically every activity that he enjoys. For example soccer, where he played travel, he also was on the rowing team and quit that, he quit Boy Scouts, and he quit playing his instrument and quit high school band, which he always enjoyed, especially because they would go on trips to theme parks once a year to compete. Now he is not doing anything. I don’t know if this is a function of puberty, a function of ADHD, and any related oppositional issues, but I am concerned about him. We are talking with his doctor tomorrow, but I’m wondering if other parents of teen boys have seen this shift or transition? A year ago he was doing much better and was on a good trajectory, but now is regressing right when it matters in high school and colleges will take notice.

My husband has not been particularly involved or proactive. If anything, the two of them have been fighting a lot more than usual and the fights have escalated into physical type reactions because they get so worked up. He doesn’t know how to handle the oppositional refusal to do anything.

Our son has had a lot of behavioral issues since he was young, which we attributed to his ADHD because they improved once he was on appropriate medication. But now it’s like déjà vu all over again. There’s constant conflict in our household and it’s also affecting my marriage. I am extremely upset and frustrated with my husband for being a poor male role model and for his lack of male leadership in this situation. Our son is also verbally abusive to his siblings, which is not healthy or acceptable.

Would appreciate any advice or thoughts about next steps. My son has been to so many therapist and so many psychiatrist at this point the therapy never sticks, because my son just won’t participate. He will either sit with his hoodie over his face, or he will sit literally under the table, or he will turn his back to the camera or turn his back to the person, at one point he had his hoodie pulled tightly with strings closed over his face while the therapist sat across from him. It’s like he thinks it’s funny. I can see him smirking through the hoodie.

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