Reply to Advice on how to motivate/redirect DC after being rejected from their ED 1st choice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any tips or experience on how to manage this well from parents who have gone through this with their 1st child in a previous year, or going through it now?

Any ideas on how to keep DC encouraged, positive, and think clearly about the rest of their college list? Especially when DC is already feeling tired, burned out from a tough term?[/quote]

Why yes, had to do that a few years ago with my one kid.

First (it might be too late for this), you should have set expectations along the way that the ED and all REACHES are just that---reaches for everyone (unless your last name is gates/bezos/etc).  So it's fine to have a top choice (or choices) but know that the reality is, 85-95%+ are going to get rejected.  that means top students/good choice kids get rejected.  So focus on your entire list---what are your top targets and safeties, why does your kid like them, and what do they offer.

For my kid, they were "deferred" from their ED1 (top 10 school) and really wanted to hear, so they chose not to do any ED2, and were ultimately "rejected".  
But it helped that A) they had their top safety EA acceptance  few days later, and B) one of their top 3 targets EA before Xmas.  So they had 2 amazing choices they liked shortly after the ED deferral.

Also, we allowed them to "mope around and be moody about the deferral" but only for 24-36 hours.  We helped them focus on all their other choices and which RD applications now needed to be completed/submitted.  It's not healthy to spend weeks being depressed about rejection at a school with single digit acceptance rates (or maybe 12-15% acceptance rates for ED after you consider rich alumni and athletes).  But what helped the most was having prepared them for reality that reaches mean 85-95%+ of highly qualified applicants get rejected, so focus on what you control, and have great targets and safeties so you will still be happy[/quote]

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