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[quote=Anonymous]DH left me this fall and we have 3 kids. We do not have a parenting plan in place and are waiting for a hearing date. In the meantime, the kids are with me (mom) 100% of the time, with DH taking them to dinner every week or so or sometimes a movie. It is a bad, unexpected divorce. The kids are very upset at their dad and feel rejected by his unwillingness to spend time with them and some really hurtful stuff he did leading up to when he left.

2 are involved in competitive figure skating. They won’t go to the Olympics or anything but they do it seriously enough that it’s a big commitment. The divorce has really affected them and my middle child has lost jumps and spins she recently learned and is struggling with mental performance issues.

They have a competition next weekend and really don’t want their dad there. Oldest is saying that she isn’t going to tell him when she’s competing and I can’t either. (He could look it up). Middle is saying that he absolutely cannot come and I have to keep him from coming or her routine will be ruined if she sees him.

Since we don’t have a legal custody arrangement yet, what are the risks of just saying to him “don’t show up because your kids really don’t want you there”?

For what it’s worth, he rarely showed up at competitions in the past and hated watching it and being around the other (admittedly intense and hard to deal with) parents.[/quote]

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