Reply to Advice for how to vet your DH’s potential as a future father/partner?

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with the PP that not everything is as straightforward. You never know if the person who had to work for everything to pay for college will feel strongly that they don’t want that for their own kids or feel the need to make up for what they didn’t have.  Meanwhile someone that grew up secure in money could have learned good financial practices and had parents that made sure their the kids still understood the value of money.

The key is that you are both being willing to talk about how you felt about it (it was great or no, want to do this differently).  Also being able to communicate and listen if you don’t naturally align while not being critical of the other person’s upbringing.  I’ve been fortunate my DH and I have a lot of similar values and I get along well with my in-laws.  Even with that we had to navigate different habits/communications we hold from our family of origin and find compromises that are not 100% what he grew up and not 100% how I grew up. As cliche as it sounds, communication (both listening and ability to reflect and articulate your thoughts), flexibility and thoughtfulness are probably better indicators than a specific way we grew up.
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