Reply to Advice for how to vet your DH’s potential as a future father/partner?

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[quote=Anonymous]1 and 2 are so dependent on circumstances.  DH is an amazing dad and husband.   His dad is a great guy but wasn't around much growing up and wasn't an involved dad.  DH grew up working middle class and his dad worked 3 jobs most of his childhood so he wasn't around much.  And he was understandably tired and quick tempered (yelled a lot).  His mom worked and was more involved.

For me, this is what I paid attention to

1.  His relationship with his family. Not necessarily how close they were but how they acted around each other.  He doesn't have a super lovey dovey family, but they all get along well and everyone is kind and respectful 
2.  His work ethic.  He worked since he was 14 and has a hard drive.  
3.  How he handled his "bachelor pad". Was it decorated?  Was it clean?  Did he cook actual meals for himself?  Basically was he a capable adult taking care of himself or was he going to need someone else to do it? 
4.  How did he respond when things went awry?  Was he to with the flow?  Did he struggle to adapt to changing plans?  
5.  How does he respond to sickness both when I was sick and when he was sick?   Did he take care of me?  Bring me meds?  Tell me to rest?  Did he act like a man -baby?  
6.  How did he support me when I needed it?  Did he do what I needed or what HE thought I needed?

Also, not to sound like an ass but I'm a pretty great wife and mom.  If you based what you thought I would be like off my mom, you would go running for the hills.  I'm great because I worked my butt off to NOT be like her and recover from the trauma of being raised by her.  So I'm pretty hesitant to base everything off people's childhoods.  [/quote]

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