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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Met one of my close friends through our daughters’ shared activity when they were little. Friends for almost a decade, family meet ups where kids would all play together but we stopped during Covid. Our girls were friends but at different school districts, only saw each other occasionally. At the start of HS, my DD struggled socially, had few female friends, but a bunch of guy friends. I suggested a couple times that we should get the girls together. Friend’s DD was outgoing and popular. Friend announces that she doesn’t want to ‘force’ her kid to be friends with people who might not be good for her child (meaning my more socially awkward introverted and not-as-popular kid). Meanwhile, her DD is in a high-drama friend group w/girls who are self-harming, etc. Friend compared asking her DD to hang out with ‘asking her to be friends with a kid in a wheelchair just because they’re disabled’. I was shocked, ended the friendship. She has since apologized, said her words came out wrong, she was just trying to make sure her DD was emotionally healthy and making the best choices for herself. I only suggested we all get together sometime so girls could hang out, not be best friends or force anything. The loss of her friendship has really bothered me, and I wonder if I should have just let it go? But also, my DD is a great kid- kind, straight A student, and definitely not a ‘bad influence’. Should I have overlooked her comments? Losing a close adult friend is tough. [/quote]

OP, was this woman a true friend in every sense of the word, or just someone you enjoyed hanging out with when your kids were little? You should think about that. Sometimes we hang onto people because they remind us of a time when life was great, e.g. when our children were younger and families interacted so well. Truly, those are some of the best of times.

But again, was this woman really a friend to you?

Personally, I could not get over a comment like the one you stated here. And if it were me, I would recognize that I was most likely mourning the loss of the little kid days, and not this "friend" herself.[/quote]

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