Reply to Need help navigating this matter between DH and DD13

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[quote=Anonymous]There is a lot going on in your post, OP. I can’t address it all because it’s out of my wheelhouse, but the parts I don’t have enough experience with suggest that DD needs more medical support than she is getting, a new neuropsych, and you should look into therapists for her that focus on family systems.

As a wife of someone whose family had a similar dynamic (I think- they’re pretty secretive) in his family of origin, I see similarities to my SIL. Doctors and psychiatrists have bounced between saying she might have a personality disorder or saying they just aren’t sure.

Because of how intensely SIL has impacted our lives with her challenges and behavior, I’ve done a ton of research. What you’re saying about your DD overlaps with a lot of my SIL’s stuff.

It is possible that your DD has autism or a personality disorder and that doctors/psychologists may never be able to distinguish between the two. Especially in girls and women, autism is often missed until well into the teenage or even adult years because of how testing evolved and its bias towards identifying autism spectrum disorder in boys. So it is possible this isn’t a personality disorder at all but ASD and likely anxiety, too. On the other hand, many people with actual personality disorders are diagnosed with ASD first as children or teens and only later do medical professionals question if it could be a personality disorder. I can’t explain it all here but a quick search of “autism vs personality disorder” will help explain some of the reasons why a differential diagnosis can be challenging.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I know all too well the helpless feeling you’re experiencing well as questioning it all when you do have those good and happy times with your Dd. If it encourages you, I think that my SIL would have been in a much better place in life now if my ILs had asked the hard questions you’re asking right now.[/quote]

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