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[quote=Anonymous]i'm sorry if is this the wrong forum, but i searched on the relationships forum and couldn't find anything.  i thought this forum may know more because it's been very helpful for my two SN kids.

My husband is high-functioning autistic, and I'm in so much pain from the way he treats me, and I don't know what to do.  We are in therapy, but i believe he needs help learning the basics of interpreting emotions and body language (our therapist does more "traditional" marital conflict stuff like how do we decide who empties the dishwasher, etc. Plus, it's over zoom, and I think the therapist misses a lot of the physical cues because we aren't in the same room).  Our therapist says my husband is clearly on the autism specturm, but he doesn't know much about how to treat it.

Is there any evaluation for:
1. assessing if an adult can interpret other people's emotions (FWIW, a neuropsych said my son has trouble with this, and i asked where an adult could take the test, and she said she didn;t know). 
2. a body language class for adults on the specturm.  For example, he clenches his fists whenever I ask him the slightest thing, and it makes me feel like the conversation is torturing him.  I totally respect if that's what his body needs to do, but I just wonder if there is some type of therapist that could mediate between the two of us, so I don't misinterpret stuff. 
3. some kind of therapy that explains words to use that are and are not helpful in emotional situations.  For example, when my father had a heart attack and was unconscious in the ICU, my husband made stupid dad jokes to try to cheer me up.  This was not helpful.  Can some type of therapist explain that to him not using emotional explanations, but using a more scripted approach like the one used in ABA (applied behavioral analysis)?

BTW, he has pathological demand avoidance and extremely rigid thinking.  So when our current therapist tries to explain stuff to him, he just argues and argues about how what the therapist is saying is not true.  He's off the charts smart, and it just turns into a battle over the "facts of the case."  If me or the therapist asks him to do something, the PDA kicks in and he just shouts about how he wont' do that because it won't work.  He also refuses to accept the autism diagnosis and then argues over the symptom list and claims he doesn't have any of them (he has them).

To be clear, I love him.  And i dont' want to leave him.  
TIA[/quote]

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