Reply to Oprah podcast on estranged families

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[quote=Anonymous]I have two experiences with estrangement, which are at different ends of the spectrum so give me sort of a different perspective.

My spouse is largely estranged from his mother.  I’ve had some limited experience with her that made me conclude she has a borderline personality.  Both he and his brother say she was very emotional abusive to them growing up and feel that she treated their dad very poorly but neither was ever willing to give me details.

Another relative is estranged from his parents.  They had a wonderful relationship for most of his life — very close, very supportive, close to ideal.  He was the sort of personality that was a huge home body and incredibly close to his parents by choice.  Married a woman who was from an insular religion that thinks poorly of his religion of birth (which he was actually really, really into before marrying her).  She sort ofi isolated him from his friends and sibling. And then seemed to pick fights with his mom.  I think the mom (who is a sensitive type) fell into the trap and let herself be baited and then said some things that weren’t great on a day she was sick and not feeling well.  Eventually wife made him choose and he chose wife.  It’s horrible and I think has really caused him a lot of psychological damage, as well as basically almost destroying his parents.  But I’m sure if you interviewed either him or his wife, they would tell a whole tale about the mother being controlling and emotionally abusive.  I think he’s been brainwashed by his wife and her pastor, who basically told him that God wanted him to cut off his parents.   [/quote]

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