Reply to How to handle a mother/mother-in-law who only talks about herself

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m am struggling lately with how to deal with my mil who seems very self-centered. She lives across the country and always makes excuses about visiting, and won’t allow us to visit because of an adult child who lives at home and doesn’t want to have contact with our family (her other child blames my spouse for his life situation where he is stuck at home living with his mom in his 40s and unable to work because he finds work stressful).  My spouse has decided to keep a very distant relationship with mil due to her selfishness and poor treatment of him, but I feel obligated to keep in touch with pictures and updates of our two daughters.  The thing is, all her replies are only ever about herself and other son. All about what they’re up to, all the people who have wronged them, all their problems etc.  She never ever asks about anyone in my family or even mentions wishing she could see her granddaughters.  Lately I’m feeling like just throwing in the towel and not writing her with updates or photos. The problem is I try this for like 2-3 weeks but then always feel guilty and optimistic she’ll change, and send an update only to be disappointed in her self centered   response. Is it time to accept she won’t change and stop updating?  The thing is she’ll never ever email me first so if I don’t email, we’ll likely never hear from her again. [/quote]

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