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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. A few of the things that she does is that she has high expectations of gifts, trips and also gifts for her kids which I am fine if she is being honest but her efforts towards my kids and me depends on how she is feeling and always look out for her or her kids benefits. She talks about a blended family but also gets pushy on how I need to raise my kids for which I put strict boundaries and she doesn't that take that well. She could help us with cooking at the home but wants to eat out all the time. If her kids are coming over, then she would cook for sure. She has a huge spending problem and spends more than she makes and in serious debt. A couple of comments she made about her ex-husband that she would not have stayed with him if he wasn't financially supporting her but then shows and give value to her daughters that man should take care of you. How is that sustainable when you are going against your values and contradicting yourself in terms of finance. your partner don't need to make as much as you but there are places in the household that you can contribute. She made a comment a while back that she started dating someone and he was good but then the guy asked to go for 50-50 after 3rd date and he dropped all contacts with him. I am not with her for money and can easily handle the expenses but this hypocrisy bothers me a little and not the way I want to raise my daughter to be dependent on a man. [/quote]

You are mixing several different things here. Her being over-spender and in debt, having different parenting  values  are real concerns if you plan a LTR. Expecting you to contribute most in your dating expenses is not using you, if you make more money [/quote]

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