Reply to My husband/wife blames me for everything

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[quote=Anonymous]Some of us married and dated partners with serious mental health problems, which they hid for years.
I worked with a colleague who would scream, bully, and intimidate. Ten years into working with them, I'm told they have ADHD/ASD. Now I feel bad that they have it and they have to live with it. Their private and professional life is a mess. The abuse I have to take is nothing. I would never want to switch places with them.
Imagine living with someone and not knowing that they are indeed differently wired?
Doesn't make the bullying ok, but explains.
I have never been treated badly by mentally healthy grownups continuously. They recognize bad behavior and apologize. They try not to repeat it.
We are giving everyone benefit of the doubt, and go on and on how we are all different while putting up with abuse that is normal for one person. 
My partner locked me out of the house for example. Who does that! They were called 'home' soon after. Whose job is to recognize mental health problems and fix them before it's too late.
I get crap at work for not shutting the co-worker down for their behavior (stopping the bulling). Not sure why they think I can change who they are.[/quote]

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