Reply to Giving "space" while going through a rough patch in a 20-yr marriage, am I overreacting?

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Reply to "Giving "space" while going through a rough patch in a 20-yr marriage, am I overreacting? "

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[quote=Anonymous]TL;DR: My husband has betrayed me in the past. We’ve struggled for a while due to his frequent travel and repeated arguments about him feeling I don’t show enough love and appreciation. It’s been hard for me to show up emotionally after the previous betrayal.

The last couple times he traveled, he went dark and even told me, “I don’t need to tell you where I am or any details until you show me love and respect.” That pushed me over the edge, and I told him I needed space. He’s been staying in a hotel.

I just found out he’s been hooking up with someone. His reasoning is that “space” means the marriage is essentially open. I never expressed that, never agreed to that, and never once considered seeing anyone else. In my mind, space meant distance while still respecting our vows.

We’ve been married 20 years, and I’m beyond disgusted and hurt. He insists that when couples take space, it should be okay to go outside the marriage.

Am I overreacting for feeling furious and betrayed by this?[/quote]

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