Reply to Resenting Mom Years After Cheating

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to get over yourself, OP.

Adultery by itself is an unethical choice if the cheated-on spouse decides it is, and if it affects the children. It gets worse if there's additional abusive, or violent, behavior; if there's financial stress due to the dissolution of the marriage; serial cheating behavior, etc.

But honestly, sometimes the cheating is a consequences of a failed marriage and both partners are at fault anyway. Sometimes you can't just divorce and remarry.

So I personally do not judge others for one-off cheating. I don't know what went on behind closed doors in their marriage. I certainly would not fault either my father or my mother if it turned out they had cheated. They're still together, and they've been through tough times. A little straying, in my mind, does not erase a lifetime of shared history.

[/quote]

So you suggest I just make excuses for her behavior and pretend it doesn’t impact me?  Divorce is a sign of a bad marriage and I would have been hurt, but not angry at either of them.  The cheating wasn’t on a work trip, she would leave me to babysit my siblings when she would betray the family with a guy who knew us all.  She stayed home to raise us and my dad worked to pay for our life.   She wanted to escape us and even though she didn’t choose to leave, she did abandon us.  It feels unforgivable to me.[/quote]

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