Reply to Did you have a strained relationship with a parent, and now they are dead, but you still harbor resentment and anger?

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Reply to "Did you have a strained relationship with a parent, and now they are dead, but you still harbor resentment and anger?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My father was terrifically abusive. Had an incredible list of vices. Philandering. Gambling. Violent. I was deemed a fat dumb and lazy loser. I went completely on my own at age 18, going to a highly competitive college and then graduate school. NCAA D 1 athlete on scholarship.

I completely disengaged from him and often went years at a time without thinking of him. Likely the best way to deal with the situation- I had more than enough going for me.

When he died four years ago (I did not find out until much later than his death) I oddly felt a need to get closure. Of course, no possibllity of closure so yet another opportunity to be reminded of how flawed he was. [b]My closure is to be content with no closure.  I have to remind myself how much he seethed with rage. He resented to a deep extent the education levels of my brother and me, just fitfully angry. Staying away and disengaged still makes sense even after his death.[/b] [/quote]

Wonderful.  He sounds like a BPD.  Look up Out of the fog website.  Happy that you grayrocked him.  You did the right thing and I am in awe of you that you did this on your own.  I am incredibly happy for you.  You saved yourself!! I am also glad he died an unhappy person.  May he never be reborn again. [/quote]

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