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Reply to "Did you have a strained relationship with a parent, and now they are dead, but you still harbor resentment and anger?"
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[quote=Anonymous]My father was terrifically abusive. Had an incredible list of vices. Philandering. Gambling. Violent. I was deemed a fat dumb and lazy loser. I went completely on my own at age 18, going to a highly competitive college and then graduate school. NCAA D 1 athlete on scholarship. I completely disengaged from him and often went years at a time without thinking of him. Likely the best way to deal with the situation- I had more than enough going for me. When he died four years ago (I did not find out until much later than his death) I oddly felt a need to get closure. Of course, no possibllity of closure so yet another opportunity to be reminded of how flawed he was. My closure is to be content with no closure. I have to remind myself how much he seethed with rage. He resented to a deep extent the education levels of my brother and me, just fitfully angry. Staying away and disengaged still makes sense even after his death. [/quote]
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