Reply to Did you have a strained relationship with a parent, and now they are dead, but you still harbor resentment and anger?

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Reply to "Did you have a strained relationship with a parent, and now they are dead, but you still harbor resentment and anger?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm resentful of the living parent and I'm at peace because I'm justified to be resentful. It's a normal and healthy reaction after a lifetime of abuse. Let yourself be angry, resentful and bitter. Don't let yourself be intimidated by society's ideals that we *cannot* be angry at parents, especially mothers. After my dad died, I finally realized that I'm not responsible for either of them and it's not my job to fix them. My dad, when alive, compensated for my mom's behavior and once he died, it all fell apart. I'm also over 50. I live on a different continent and am low contact now. I of course moved away on purpose, out of self-preservation (on instinct when I was in my 20s). Distance and low contact heals neurological damage that these people do. Yes, I sometimes still get into a negative thought pattern when something reminds me of her and it triggers me... so I rant a bit in my head. Yes, I get triggered instantly by the phrase "But I'm your mother!" that I had to hear so many times. She never knew how to be one. I'm the mother now. [/quote]

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