Reply to My husband has been gone for 60 days and I'm realizing my marriage is bad.

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[quote=Anonymous]My husband left for a two-month work trip and will be home in about 10 days. I am dreading his return and how much more work it is when he's home. When he's home, it's comparable to having two children instead of one.

I had to beg him to pay attention to me. Activities he did when I was 25, like sport hunting and fishing, I now find cruel. His affinity for drinking a six-pack on a Saturday or using nicotine patches grosses me out. He always finds time for his hunting and fishing buddies, but has not planned a single date in 5+ years since we've had our son. Before he left, we were in marriage counselling, where he was finding blame with me for everything. He would blame me if a lightbulb went out or a screw needed to be tightened - "Why didn't you tell me?"

He did not participate in cleaning or cooking. He said that because he did yardwork, had to get up at 4AM for work, and had a long commute, he's too tired. He would fall asleep when reading to our son to bed, and our son would still be awake.

Now that he's gone, there's no arguing. I don't have to ask for permission for things. I am doing less laundry and can do all the yardwork, which he claims is equal to me doing all the cooking and cleaning. The one very positive thing about him is that he is an absolute rockstar when our son is sick; he will get in, help with everything, and take time off work. But I don't know if that's worse than feeling second best to his fishing buddies or his constant criticism of me.

If this isn't a sign, I don't know what is. I hate that I had to take him to marriage counselling to ask him to be nice to me. He never does anything thoughtful or surprising; he complains that I "don't like surprises", and I don't think he cares for me too much either.

It's very sad to realize this is just the end of my marriage and my sole support system.

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