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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is mostly a vent, but I'd welcome your thoughts, because I have a very dysfunctional family, such that I lose track of what's normal. Plus I'm beaten down trying to deal with them.

My aunt passed away in the US. She is originally from Europe and wanted to be buried without cremation in the family plot with a church funeral. Most of her siblings, including my mother, are in the European country and they immediately started whining that the paperwork would be too much to handle, transporting the coffin would cost too much, no one could organize such a complicated thing, blah blah blah. My aunt's American husband, from the depth of his grief, is making it happen - it's very complicated. Then her siblings start bickering amongst each other about the cost. My aunt's husband then pays for everything. But he can't arrange for a church funeral. This is an out of the way spot, and someone local needs to contact the local church to call in a priest, because there are no more priests in rural villages these days: they rotate to hold mass every few Sundays. I suggest they pay the donation to the church for the mass, which is a minuscule fraction of the total cost (that they are not paying). All the siblings whine that holding a full mass is too much, not enough people will come (true enough!), they won't be able to find a priest, etc. No one has actually called the church to inquire.

I've been the go-between and translator between funeral homes, aunt's husband, consulate, in all this. Can't my relatives do this one thing? Do I need to call the church myself? My aunt's husband does not speak the language.

Also, it's just depressing how this set of siblings is just not able to lift a finger for each other when push comes to shove. It's not new behavior. They've always been like this, but I'm still shocked they wouldn't comply with the last wishes. Isn't that sacred? It's not like she asked for her coffin to be hauled up Mount Everest.

[b]Sigh. I'm so done with these people.[/b][/quote]
Quit relying on worthless people to do what needs to be done.

Honor the wishes and do it yourself. Complaining isn't helping. [/quote]

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