Reply to How to scale back friendship with friend’s spouse without scaling back relationship with friend?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. DH doesn’t take offense. He thinks I’m being overly emotional about it but says I should just change the dynamic of the relationship if I can’t take the banter.

He’s not like this only when drinking. This is his personality 24/7.

It sucks because I do genuinely enjoy the group dynamic most times, but I feel like the jokes are turning into jabs and as time goes on, it seems to be worse. [/quote]

Be very careful to not say "it hurts my feelings when ..." because that makes it easy for people to say you're too sensitive or emotional. You need to say "That's not okay to say to women." "How would you feel if someone said that to/about your daughter?" If he starts the "you can't take a joke" trope look him dead in the eyes and say "if you say something funny, I'll laugh. But that wasn't funny, it was just crass and cruel. It says more about you than me."

And tell your husband that AS your husband, he needs to back you. That's part of the unspoken vows he took at the wedding. [/quote]

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