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[quote=Anonymous]I'm 52. Married, job, 2 kids in college (second left this fall), one a junior in high school and the last one is pretty independent.

I've always been social and have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances and a few very close buddies. I'm warm, friendly, low key, etc. 
I'm recently found myself with more time and have been reaching out with friends who are empty nesters, etc and while they are always so happy to hear from me ("thank you so much for thinking of me. I have so much time and no plans. It's so good to hear from you. Yes, lets get together") it's always one off. Or they cancel outright. Or I try a second thing (a few months later) and they cancel. Or can't do it. 
I am not being overwhelming or demanding. And when we're together they often say "wow, I am so lonely. I have much time" and yet there is some weird gulf between these feelings and the ability to actually reach out or engage. I kind of get it---It's a lot for me to reach out to engage to.

What is up with this? Before you say, "they're just not that into you", well maybe.  But I know for a fact that many don't don't spend time with anyone. I look at my college aged kids in comparison and friendship for them is so easy. They make plans and they are reciprocated. They send texts and they're returned. It's all so easy. And yet here we all are at age 50, lonely and yet unable to make the effort for others. I long for genuine friendship (not deep or intense) but it just seems so darn hard if not impossible. Everyone is lonely (studies show this again and again, people share this) and yet no one can consistently make the effort.  :( [/quote]

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