Reply to If you moved out in the divorce, tell me how you set up your new home

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[quote=Anonymous]My ex moved out. For 3 months I think he was bouncing around at hotels and airbnbs. Now I think he’s essentially at a fully furnished place that would have become an Airbnb but he’s arranged a longer term lease. The kids don’t stay with him yet because he doesn’t have anything personal in it and hasn’t offered to personalize it for them. At some point they might be forced to but for now they don’t under our temporary custody arrangements.

From my experience, and I say this for your kids and not because I want to help someone as clueless and stupid as my own STBX:

-ask your kids what they want whenever there’s an opportunity for choice
-take your kids shopping for their own bed linens and towels. Buy pillow protectors and mattress pads. Wash everything before it’s used, don’t be nasty. 
-buy your kids a full set of the toiletries they usually use, plus brushes, hairdryers, hair towels, q-tips, cotton rounds, etc. Get them their basic hair products and makeup and acne products so they aren’t dragging huge bags around. Don’t expect them to be happy using your Head and Shoulders shampoo. My kids check the bathrooms every week at their dad’s when they go during the day to see if their dad will put anything in them.
-clean everything before your kids move in. “The cleaners were just here two months ago” or “it got cleaned before I rented it” isn’t enough. 
-buy the kind of laundry detergent they’re used to, not some weird brand that’s on sale or the first one you saw. Nothing will make them feel less at home than sheets and clothes that smell like a stranger’s house.
-take your kids to the grocery store and have them pick the shelf stable stuff that they’re currently eating. My kids complain that there is no food at their dad’s. 
-yes, sheets and towels need to be washed. One of my kids is a big snoop and figured out that the sheets and towels in the room that’s supposedly theirs have not been moved since the staging photos of the rental were taken last May. They compared wrinkles and folds of the artfully draped decorative throw blanket…
-for the love of god, put extra toilet paper in every bathroom. Every time my kids go to their dad’s there is one square of toilet paper wrapped around every tube in every bathroom in the house. They now know to check before they commit to using a bathroom. [/quote]

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